Saturday, October 15, 2011

PRODUCT REVIEW: Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Remover

For about three months now, I have been taunted and bombarded with ads, magazine writeups, and signage in Walgreens for this product, all of which say "Coming Soon". THREE MONTHS IS NOT SOON in the advertising world, FYI. So, imagine my delight when I was able to grab it, at 7am the other morning when I was stumbling into Walgreens for Sudafed (the real meth-making kind, of course) since nothing else I was loaded up on would stop this ridiculous cold/allergy fiasco I was fighting.  

I waited all day to tear it open and "nair" my upper lip, and around down almost onto my chin, in some kind of 70s porn-stache style application. I got home from my brow waxing appointment, washed the lower half of my face, and started with the application of the Skin Guarding Balm, which is effectively a fancy tube of lip balm.  It tells you to swipe it on lightly, and then massage it for about 30 seconds to let it get into your skin.  Then you swipe on a "thick layer" of the actual hair remover.  So I did, and since I am usually a 10+ minute stache-removing kind of girl with the facial nair, I left it on the full ten. 

By minute 2 I wanted to kill myself in the face. It burned something hellish.  Now, I should probably mention that I was on day 4 of that cold/allergy fiasco, and my nose and lip were RAW from the sneezing and nose blowing I had been doing.  But I persisted. By minute 4 I was nearly gouging my eyes out.  By minute 6 I was trying to distract myself with the latest issue of Town and Country BRIDAL magazine. It was so not working. Not even the amazing images of such gorgeous jewelry from names like KWIAT.  Finally 10 minutes had passed. I missed the part in the directions that said to use a soft tissue or cotton pad to remove it, and went right for the warm wet washcloth. 

Let's just say that for the future, Ill follow the fucking directions. Because OH MY GOD it hurt. It seriously was like a combination of a chemical burn and a scrape like I'd never experienced.  I was actually bleeding.  I cannot really blame the product, because like I said above: I am a moron to have smeared this stuff on my upper lip which was already in bad shape.  So lesson learned: don't nair your face when you are sick and the area is already raw. Because then you will look like you have the herp. 

Now that I have slathered some cortisone and neosporin on there for a few days, it's returning to a less than disturbing situation. But that was harrowing and pretty gross.  I was hoping no one would ask me what happened for a while, because then I'd have to lie about doing something equally stupid like skinning my face on the carpet or something trying to do yoga (yes there is a story, and no I am not going to share it.)

It is available at Walgreens (I seriously have seen it nowhere else!) for $24.99. Yes I really did pay $25 for the herpy lip.

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