My fashionable friends will totally disown me. And rightfully so.

...because I am wearing Crocs. Daily. And they rock.

To be fair, these are not your kid's, grandma's, nurse's crocs. These are actually remotely attractive. And aside from the foot-sweat thing, pretty darn comfortable.

I will start this by saying that every shoe tears up my feet, with the exception of Reef "Sandy" flip flops, and now apparently these little foam shoes. Mid-April found me starting a new position outside of my field, which required me to actually dress up. Well, this is like black-tie for me, and probably business casual for the rest of the planet. But considering that I could have gone to the Agency in my underwear and no one would probably have noticed, and as far as I am concerned, who needs pants? (Siblings, you shut it!) So as I was going through my closet which literally contained nothing work appropriate for a real office, I was "forced" to go on a bit of a spree. I say that like it was torture. Well in terms of trying on clothes in "regular sized" clothing stores, it kind of was. I have a pretty annoying body to fit, besides just being chubby that is. Normal shirts, even XL, don't fit properly in the chest, so I often have to buy plus-size shirts and have the sides taken in. My weight goes up and down like the tide, so that almost forces me to keep a set of clothes for each low tide and high tide.


I took the ole Visa and headed out to West County Mall, which is my local favorite for the most part. Mostly bec there's a Nordstrom. And that's my idea of a good time. I picked up a variety of items, including some jeans at Ann Taylor, which I couldn't believe I could get over my legs let alone zip comfortably, and on sale for like $30 marked from $90. I would never pay $90 for these jeans, but I am cheap and usually buy clothes at Target (which to many of you probably explains a lot.)

After spending a small fortune (my entire paycheck for the agency--which isn't much, and for the last 6 months was embarrassingly small) on cardigans, tank tops, polos, khakis, and dress pants, I realized I didn't have much that I could do for shoes that wouldn't rip a gigantic hole in my heels. And I wasn't about to put on those Sketchers which ate me alive a few weekends ago when I had planned to dance part of the night away at Viva and instead fought sleep and drank 10 diet cokes on the couch in the corner, holding it when I had to pee so that I wouldn't have to walk because doing so made me wanna puke from the pain. I was still in about 10 bandaids from that night when I passed the Crocs kiosk brilliantly located in front of Sephora. I decided I would cave and see if they were in any way comfortable. So I tried the most "attractive" one they had, which was still totally butt. It was called the Malindi, and I was surprised how comfy it was. No rubbing even on my bandaid wrapped owwies. So I bought a pair of black and a pair of brown, figuring I could wear one for a few days and if it tore me back up, I could return the other. Well now a month later I seriously have had them on every day. I can alternate the black and brown with whatever "scheme" I am wearing that day (match the belt to the shoes!) and I get asked constantly what they are because they're cute. I usually think most of the time the person is bullshitting to try to say something nice to me, but the fact that two of the people have been seen recently wearing the aforementioned Malindi crocs....they actually meant it.

Now if only I could figure out how to get that foot-sweating thing to stop. There's really not much you can do about that, it's foam with a bare foot, and it's gonna happen. I might see if I can find some kind of thin insole or something. Just to prevent the gross wet feeling.

But seriously, not one other pair of shoes has garnered daily wear from me. I might go buy two more pairs for backup just in case. Same colors, I am boring. I also might get one of those wedge style shoes they have, because most of the people who have the misfortune of spending time around me know I can't walk in them. I can't walk in flats either, or even barefoot, without eatin' it, (even at my own wedding.) but I am determined to learn by the age of 35. So that means 3 more years. I might be able to do it.